February 20, 2014

Well, luckily I was able to get in contact with the infertility clinic today so that they could explain how to administer my medication and was able to give myself the first shot today.  It was much different than the old shot which definitely made me feel uneasy.  But, I overcame it and made it happen!  2 more days to go and then I have my doctor appointment Monday morning to check on my follicles!  I am REALLY hoping for some good sized follicles this round!  Keep those fingers, toes, legs, arms, eyes and everything else that you can - crossed!

Moving on from that....

I am starting to feel like people are getting somewhat 'annoyed' by my posts...  I do not want anyone to feel obligated to read what I am posting.  I am doing this to not only help myself by getting everything off my chest but to also allow others to know my story.  I never expected people to feel negatively towards my desire to let everyone in to my life - and along on my journey.

I want to make it incredibly clear that I have never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me.  I am not seeking sympathy in any way shape or form.  Compassion - yes.  Sympathy - no.  As I have stated in other posts, I am well aware of the fact that there are other people out there that are facing their own issues, and I have never claimed that mine are the worst.  I am merely trying to allow others to see what I go through on a day to day basis and I do not think that I should feel bad for doing so...

Now that I have gotten that out of my system, I have been battling another small emotional issue lately.  I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.  I am 25 years old and have been married for 4 and a half years... Sooo many people around me, that got married after I did, already have children or will have children in the near future.  I am so happy for everyone to be able to have their own families, but it is still hard to imagine the fact that I am still sitting here struggling.  I have said numerous times that I would not wish this on my worst enemy - and I am not kidding.  But I am starting to feel that because a lot of my friends are moving on with life and are having children, I will inevitably be left behind and will have no one to count on.

I think that this is a fear that many women that face infertility have.  No one wants to imagine being left behind or alone...  So this is definitely something that I have been struggling with lately...

Now - on a happy note - tomorrow I get to spend the day with my husband!  Since he is on night shift now, I barely get to spend any time with him... And I get to have some 'me' time and go get my nails all beautified! ;-)

Have a great weekend everyone!